My sister passed away on nov 24 and I'm having trouble dealing with it

[Phantom]

She was diagnosed only six months ago. I thought she had years, but it didn't work out that way. I still can't believe she's gone; she was only 59 years old. She never drank, never smoked, never did drugs—she was like an angel. I feel guilty that I couldn't do more. I went to the hospital every day, and in the end, I had to feed her like a baby because she was too weak. Anytime I see a spoon I have a flashback cuz at the end all she could swallow was soup.

 

[Doebuck1234]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.Sounds like you did all you could do and I'm sure she really appreciated that.Try to remember all the good times and laughs you guys had together

[Trial153]

Very Sorry 

[Wolc123]

Hang in there and remember the good times, knowing that there will be a lot more ahead.  I lost my younger sister in her mid-fifties, just a few years ago, and I still think about her every day.  The pain of our current separation is much less, knowing  that it is only temporary .  
 

 

[Splitear]

Sorry to hear this Phantom. You were there for her when it mattered, and I’m sure that meant more than anything to her. Cherish the time you had with her and think about the good times. 

[Swamp_bucks]

Sorry for your loss, can’t pretend I know what you’re going through never losing a sibling.  Cherish the memories you had with her.  

Edited November 28, 2024 by Swamp_bucks

[lucky118]

Sorry for your loss. My father passed from a 6 yr battle with pancreatic  cancer on January 14th of this yr. I went to visit him a few weeks before he passed. Was hard to hug him and just feel bones. He was always a sturdy man. He did logs for fire wood and had a massive garden he was always in. He was in alot of pain at the end as it had spread to his bones and lungs. And tho I can't say I'm glad he is no longer here. I'm glad he is no longer in pain. 

[Moho81]

Sorry for your loss. I have no words to provide comfort but take each day one at a time. 

[Robhuntandfish]

Very sorry for your loss.   Let the good memories of her overtake the difficult times.  

[GreeneHunter]

Condolences

[NYRturkeycall]

My deepest condolences for the loss of your sister. First thing, everybody grieves differently. There's no right or wrong way, there's no normal time frame. Try and stay focused on all the good times you had, and even some of the bad ones. You'd be surprised at what makes you smile and laugh in hindsight. God has a plan for all of us, and sadly we won't know what it is or why until we meet Him one day. But I truly believe that you will meet up with your sister in Heaven again one day. This is just a temporary separation, like Wolc said.

It might sound trite, but maybe it's   best that her passing was quick and she didn't have to endure months or years of possibly painful and debilitating treatments. Watching  a loved one go through that can be the same or worse hell than losing them sometimes; prolonging the sadness and pain for everyone.

You mentioned that you wish you could do more, But from your initial post, it sounds like you did everything that was important at the time it was most important. Your sister got to spend every single last day with you until she passed. You got to spend every single last day with her. You got the privilege of being able to provide her whatever nourishment she was able to receive when she couldn't do it for herself. Try and think about it from her perspective, how grateful and thankful must she have been and happy to have her brother there with her on her last days everyday to spend time with her, to possibly laugh with her, to share a tear with her, to even see a smile and truly know that she is loved. You were the one that was able to give her nourishment when she wasn't able to do it herself. You were the one that was able to hold her hand and provide comfort in whatever form she received it as.  You were the one that was able to show her the type of man and the type of brother you are and how truly deep your love for her is. 

While she might be physically gone from this world, I can promise you she will live in your heart, she will live in your dreams, she will live in the memories that you randomly have that will make you smile for no reason. 

I truly wish you the best while you process this all. And I hope you know that you did your best and that you were there for her. That's all that matters. May God bless you and your family.

 

[Bucksnbows]

I’m sorry for your loss. As a two time cancer survivor myself, I often wonder why I’m still here but other loved ones are not. Survivor’s guilt, I guess. Focus on all the good memories at this time of year. I’m sure that’s what she would want for you to do. 

[mowin]

Sorry to hear about your sister. I know she appreciates all your support and love.  

[Moog5050]

So sorry.  Praying God comforts you and gives you His peace.  

[nywaw]

I'm very sorry for your loss, my deepest condolences to you and your family.